I love(d) you. And you never even cared. Did you? You were too busy being with her in your head. I asked you what would happen if she told you to come back, and you said you wouldn’t go. Why did you lie? I gave you a way out. Instead, you continued on, like you actually cared. I write to you. For you. And no ink, no thoughts, nothing, has gone towards me. What have you done to me?
And God I can see how much I loved him, just in the way I wrote to him, and about him.
You left me. I didn’t need just a friend, I needed you. You left like everyone else. To think I believed it would be different because we shared the same fears.
because I felt I needed to be punished.
Now I do it to feel beautiful.